Why they ask it
Disagreements are a normal part of work. Victoria's Youth Central says what the interviewer really wants to know is how you deal with conflict.
The UK Civil Service puts this under working together. That includes listening to other points of view and needs, responding with care, and checking you understand.
How to answer: listen, find the shared goal, agree a fix
Use the STAR method, as England's National Careers Service sets it out. STAR stands for Situation, Task, Action and Result:
- Situation: where you were and what was going on, in a line or two.
- Task: what you had to do, or the problem to solve.
- Action: what you did, step by step. This is most of the answer, so say "I", not "we".
- Result: what changed, with a number if you can, and what you learned.
Aim for about 90 seconds out loud. Keep it short and to the point, and be ready for follow-up questions about it.
CareerOneStop's practice questions say to focus on a positive result. Show you were part of the solution, not the problem. If you compromised or negotiated, say so.
Actions that tend to work well:
- Talking to the person privately, not in front of others.
- Asking questions, and listening to their side first.
- Finding the goal you both care about.
- Agreeing a next step, and checking back later.
Choosing the right story
- A disagreement about how to do the work, not about someone's personality.
- One where you played a clear part in the fix.
- One that ended well, or taught you something you still use.
- Not one that's still going on.
No work conflict yet? A group project, a sports team or a volunteer role works too.
Common mistakes
- Saying you've never had a conflict. It's hard to believe.
- Making the other person the villain. CareerOneStop says to avoid negative words about past employers.
- Going straight to the manager without trying to talk first, unless it's about safety or conduct.
- Telling a story where you won. The aim is a fair fix, not a win.
Make it fit the job ad
If the ad stresses teamwork, partners or other teams, pick a story with the same kind of people.
In a customer-facing job, see our guide to handling a difficult customer too.
A full answer, as a made-up example
Here is a made-up answer from a volunteer role. It stays fair to the other person, and most of it is what Hana did.
Made-up example
Hana, a festival volunteer applying for a project assistant job
Question
Situation
Task
Action
- I asked to meet her one-on-one, away from the rest of the team.
- I asked why she preferred paper, and learned many older volunteers didn't use online forms.
- I shared my concern: about a third of last year's paper forms were hard to read.
- We agreed to run both: an online form, plus paper forms she would collect and enter each week.
Result
Hana listens first, shares facts, not blame, and finds a fix that meets both their goals.
Questions
Can I talk about a conflict with my manager?
Yes, if you stay respectful. Show how you raised it calmly, listened, and what you agreed.
What if the conflict didn't end well?
You can use it if you learned from it. Say what you'd do differently, and show you've done that since.
Should I name the person?
No. Use their role, such as "a colleague on the next shift".
Sources
Written by Seal the Offer from these pages, last checked on . Rules change, so check the employer's own page and the job ad before you apply.
- Answering interview questions · Youth Central, Victorian Government (Australia)
- Success Profiles: Civil Service behaviours · UK Civil Service (Cabinet Office)
- Practice interview questions · CareerOneStop, US Department of Labor
- Get ready to interview · CareerOneStop, US Department of Labor
- The STAR method · National Careers Service (England)